Introduction / Walk a mile in my shoes

The moment that some of you have been waiting for, the first Sunday blog entry. So as many of my friends already know, just in the past few weeks I was diagnosed with Diabetes. It really came as a pretty big shock, considering there is no history in my family of Diabetics, and just the fact that I developed it at such a late age. It has taken some getting used to, but every day gets a little better, and a bit easier to handle.

 So where does a blog emerge out of all of this? Well just last week, a few of my friends were telling me that I should start blogging about my experiences as a Diabetic, or just a view from a different lifestyle. I thought about it for a bit, and then upon mentioning it to a few other people they also said that I should start blogging as they would love to read what I have to write about, and thus Craig's Sunday Session was born. I will not however be outlining my life as a Diabetic in this blog, because it would get boring. Diabetes isn't that exciting of a disease. Today I took more insulin, and I am still healthy WOOO!!!! Yeah doesn't sound too exciting. I do however have a story about diabetes as my first Sunday post. I know what you're thinking.. fucking get on with it already so without any more delay..

DISCLAIMER As this blog is not intended to be full of sad, angsty, depressing shit, this first post is a bit along those lines. Its not ment to be a pity party for me, or a story to make people feel bad, its just a story.

Back when I was growing up, I had a "friend" who was Diabetic. Back then, (and before I was diagnosed with Diabetes myself) I didn't know much about it, other than he had to take needles every day and had to make sure that he ate regularly. I call him a friend in quotations as he wasn't really my friend. As a matter of fact, until I was in about grade 7 I really only had one person I could call my friend. He and everyone else wasn't my friend, because I was their scapegoat. The people I chose to hang around with picked on me daily. I was always smaller than everyone else, so I always got pushed around. The "cool" kids throughout grade 5-9 always wore Tommy Hilfiger, Mavi, Silver, and other expensive loose fit brand name jeans. Mine were always the wrong brand, too baggy, to tight. My shirts were always too "gay". The way that I styled my hair was stupid, and the brand of skateboard that I chose to ride was never good enough for these kids. They never beat me up (in the extreme sense of the word), but they always called me names, made fun of me, threw me in dirt, and alot of other really terrible things. This went on for many years of my childhood, and continued into Junior High school until about grade 9 when I finally started to think for myself, and take responsibility for the people I chose to associate myself with.


There is one day that sticks out in my mind very specifically. It must have been around the time I was in grade 7, and I remember being on my bike down by the Shawnessy barn with the diabetic one and the fucking loser of a ring leader. I don't remember exactly what caused the outburst in the first place but I remember getting extremely mad and breaking down, yelling at the top of my lungs at the both of them, screaming at them to "FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" while they continued to make me more angry and upset. There was a woman who was also walking by at the time who intervened and told them to leave me alone and they proceeded to tell her that we were friends. She said "It doesn't seem like you're friends if he is telling you to leave him alone and if you are picking on him." The two boys told her to fuck off, in plain English, and while they were arguing with her I used the opportunity to ride my bike off and get away from the both of them. They eventually rode after me, caught up and got me to stop and get off my bike so we could sit down and talk.

By this point I had calmed down quite a bit, but still did not want to have anything to do with either of them, but I decided to stay and talk with them anyways. I told them "Do you really think its fair the way that you guys treat me? I haven't done ANYTHING to deserve any of this and you guys fuck with me all the time. Do you know what its like to have this happen to you on a daily basis? Maybe you should walk a mile in my shoes sometime." Well with that comment all hell broke loose, the Diabetic one freaked out and started yelling in my face saying "WALK A MILE IN YOUR SHOES? WHY DON'T YOU TRY WALKING A MILE IN MY FUCKING SHOES! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE A LIFE LONG CONDITION WHERE YOU HAVE TO TAKE NEEDLES EVERY DAY? I WOULD TRADE PLACES WITH YOU ANY DAY IF I COULD. MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCK OFF AND THINK ABOUT WHAT ITS LIKE FOR ME!" The other boy agreed with him, saying to me that he had it was worse being a Diabetic and having to take needles every day.

 I am 23 years old now, and now I AM a diabetic. I DO have to fill those shoes every god damn day of my life. I DO have to check my sugar, watch my diet, and take needles every day. And you want to know what I find really funny about all this? I still had a shitty time growing up, getting picked on, getting treated like shit, getting slapped around, getting made fun of constantly for everything I did. I had to walk in those shoes and now I also have to walk in yours, and because you can't change the past, I lived a shitty childhood, and am living with Diabetes now.

So FUCK you forever.

Thanks for reading. I know the first post was long, depressing, and sad. Like I said, its not intended to be like that. Its just my first post about my experience with Diabetes, which sparked this entire blog in the first place. Be sure to tune in next week when I voice some thoughts about technology. That will be one you won't want to miss.


-Swanny