Hockey Talk (the TUESDAY session)

I received several angry comments about not posting on Sunday, so my apologies but what PASSION! I am glad that people are enjoying reading this so far. I was busy watching baseball and cricket, as well didn't have much to write about, so I slacked off. This post will be the make up for Sunday, as well there will be another new Sunday Session this weekend. Promise.

This was a topic that was texted to me by someone whom will remain anonymous. I know who it was, but I don't think that names of suggestions are appropriate, however, I also don't want to claim credibility.

People who know me should know that I don't particularly enjoy, or care about hockey. I never played when I was a kid, I don't have a team, I don't know anything about the sport at all really. I don't see the attraction to it, its just not for me. Along with that, I don't like small talk. "Did it stop raining outside? Maybe it will FINALLY get sunny out." Shut up, seriously you can CLEARLY see outside to see if its raining or not, you know better, don't ask me just because we happen to be waiting in the same line to buy groceries or whatever situation you might find yourself in. This post is about one of the worst, horribly misused bit of small talk to exist. Hockey talk.

Now, I am not slandering the sport of hockey. I don't care about whether or not its a good sport, or who likes or doesn't like it. I am not arguing for it, nor against it as a sport. I also don't care if its "Canada's" game or a part of our heritage or not. I don't care for it, and I am not going to let my personal feelings get in the way of what this post is actually about. When I go to a hockey game, I don't really do it for my enjoyment. Yeah sure, I like to drink beer and sit around and shoot the shit as much as the next guy, but if I am going to a game it is usually with my Dad and Brother or a few of my friends and I am going for THEIR benefit. I want to spend time with the people I go to games with, thats why I go, not because I care about who's playing. Its a trade off, if you want to spend time with people (like me my dad and brother) then sometimes you have to do something that you wouldn't necessarily do yourself. Not to say its a chore for me to go to the hockey game, or that I resent having to go. Its just something I don't invest any time in unless I have to.

So point made, I don't like hockey. But it Canada, why is it that there is this expectation to just small talk, or "hockey talk" with strangers, or at work or wherever. Like for me that asshole at work who comes in, and hes a Vancouver fan (woooo...) and he says to ME "Oh yeah so Calgary had their hands full last night hey?" And I just want to say "Hands full? What was there a fire or something? Did the police have a big drug bust? I don't understand what you're talking about." They would of course come back with something like "Oh no I mean the game! THE GAAAMMEE!!! You know? We beat Calgary's ASS! Vancouver woo goo!! Yeah.. blah blah blah". This is where I start ignoring him because I don't fucking WATCH hockey and I don't CARE about hockey. Here is why it drives me nuts.

1. Believe it or not, NOT EVERYONE WATCHES HOCKEY!! Yeah I get it, its a big deal in Canada, people love their hockey, but why am I expected to know about it? The asshole you chit chat with at the bar, always brings up hockey, pulls out hockey stats, names, players, coaches whatever. Who cares? The worst part about it is if you say "Oh I don't watch hockey." You're SHUNNED! Its like you just told the person you committed murder. I hate having to pretend to strangers that I actually give a shit about how the Flames are doing. I don't even ever know what place they are in!! The expectation that everybody watches hockey is a stupid stereotype of the Canadian population. Even if the majority watches hockey, not everyone does, and the expectation that everyone upholds that you do is a fucking joke.

2. I hate it when people refer to their team as "we" or "us". Oh really you played for the New York Rangers this last season? Were you a RIGHT WING FOR THE CALGARY FLAMES! NO WAY I MUST HAVE MISSED YOU!! Actually, the TEAM won last night. The TEAM of professional players went on the ice and played hockey, and would have if you watched the game, supported them or otherwise. There is no WE making it to the playoffs. The CANADIANS made it to the playoffs, YOU had nothing to do with it, so shut the FUCK up.

Now don't take this the wrong way. If someone says "hey wanna come over for the hockey game?" and I say "Yes" and I get there and people are talking about hockey, that is fair game. I have several friends whom are brothers (lol guess whooo!!!) and they really enjoy their hockey, and they know their hockey. One of the things they like to do MOST is watch hockey and talk about hockey, and that's fine. If I am around them I know they are gonna most likely be talking hockey because thats what they like, and thats what they do. I don't care if people talk about hockey, I do care about how it has become a standard ice breaker for a Canadian conversation piece. If you wanna sit around and talk hockey while watching the game, and I am there to hear it, I knew damn well what I was getting myself into before I showed up at the door, so tough luck for me. Its all the extra random bullshit and nonsense that comes along with the sport and living in this country that quite frankly I have had enough of. The unfortunate thing is there is no escape.

So the next time you try to talk hockey with someone and they say "I don't watch that sport" don't say something stupid like "Are you even FROM Canada?" or look at them like they have three heads. Maybe try a different conversation piece, cuz there is plenty of people out there who would like to talk about something other than the fucking post season.

Swanny